new years

Starting the night, I went over to mom's house and ate dinner at the Panda Express with her and Joe. Then watched Walk the line and Mama Mia.
After the movies, I figured that Johnny would have been awake by then and I quickly drove home before midnight got around to be with him....

Got home.. and Johnny said he only slept for an hour.. which meant he was still tired as shit. So...

I sat there...
Watching tv....
while he slept next to me...
the ball dropped....
and I kissed him ever so lightly...
and brought him to bed.

Then I went back to the love sac and watched the rest of the new years eve show.. I thought to myself, "This isn't how I wanted to spend this night."
I shed a tear or two b/c I realized I just spent that one special second.. pretty much alone.

and sober for that matter...
*sniff*
well... my new years resolution is to gain a back bone to life and get fit enough for my cruise trip with Adam this upcoming summer vacation.
and to work much harder on my spring semester classes.

happy new yr.

more depressing news..

Comming from the Vet...

My sweet bambi has..."anisocoria, I suspect a lesion moving the cerebellum/optic chiasm."
basically his brain is making him do the crazy things that hes sooo cute doing. Like when he bites the air instead of your hand 6 inches away yea... that is b/c he CAN'T see your hand... in normal light, one pupil is small and the other pupil is ridiculously huge. So he basically can't focus on anything that he sees.
Then there's the high stepping walk he has... yea, its part of his brain problem.
And the shaking of the head, when I told Dr. Cobb that Joe thinks its a brain problem, Cr. Cobb realizes, jow might be right... b/c it would explain all of his other weird quirky acts.

So, now we have a true diagnosis on the problem of the shaking of the ears. Though, now Dr. Cobb said I should be aware of his actions more and be more careful with him because Bambi is in a semi risk for having a seziure.
After he said Seizure.. my thoughts flashed back when mom and I were the only ones awake and tried to calm sherman down when he was having his seizures. The eyes rolling back, the foam and bile, the teeth showing like he was the most viscious thing ever... omg. It's certainly a memory that I'll never forget.
So pretty much I was crying all the way home..and had mom try to calm me down, and convince me that nothing like that is going to happen right now.. Its just a precaution. And besides, Dr. Cobb also said that its possible that this problem could even go away as he grows up.

-___- I just feel like I can never win.

no more sparkling wiggles at this party

I worked from 8pm, till 1:30ish in the morning.
Good stuff, It almost felt like a small lock in and we were all in our comfy clothes and... I dunno, it made me feel like I was at a girl slumber party, b/c we talked about all sorts of crazy topics and I found out a lot! on my coworkers and manager sarah. lol
Overall it was some crazy fun and all we did was fold shit. ^_^ I enjoy my job... even though my back hurts.

While I was sitting on the floor with... (lets call her mandy) Mandy and I heard this cutest ring tone ever from the other girl that was folding t-shirts. You can hear this little girl (probably about 3 or 4) and the dad says,"Say 'no more sparkling wiggles here'" and this cute little girl with her speech impediment says, "no more fuckin niggors here."
OMG!!!! it was the most horrible/funny/cutest! thing I have EVER heard. I had so many mixed feelings about it.
Then I made that girl send me it to my phone.. so now I can show it to other people.. I love it. its so cute. lol.

Anyway!!! enough of that!
I remembered about my grades, seeing if I even passed the stuff or not... and thankfully, I did.
Even though I do a horrible on tests, the homework gave me a light through the tunnel.
I got..
C- Intro to Humanities
C- Art History I
B- Speech

So yea... those were part of my basics. so now I'm unsure wether I should keep doing all of my basics now or start getting more into the art classes. b/c I've been bored lately.

Ugh.... nite nite........

We're goin to Jackson

Luis' roommate right now is planning on leaving him in February....
Which could be a plus, or a minus in my situation.
I COULD! have luis, Phill and I all room together, but Luis has told me what he thought on that, but am not sure what Phill OR Johnny might like it or not. heh

More news!
Bambi's ear is getting so much better, it was first a horrible sight to even look at it, and now its not so bad. Dr. Cobb gave me a suggestion for his hair loss problem as well. He said, Melatonin would help.
I checked it in the GNC healthy pills store, and it said it was a sleeping aid! I called to make sure that Melatonin is what I heard him say, and he was like, "Yeap... thats it. although I haven't heard of any problems with over sleeping on it. For dogs, its more of an effect of shiny hair growth." so I bought it... only 6 bucks!!! thats the cheepest meds I will, and probably forever buy him! lol.

what else..... I made some sort of christmas ordament of myself.... Although, I don't have a tree to put it on... so, it kinds just sits here lookin pretty. I should make a Bambi one! That'd be awesome! lol.

I know what I'm getting for christmas, and Jessie's right, now that I know! which the suprise isn't the hardest thing now... its the waiting to open it and say its MINE! is the hard part! lol. I'm also even more excited giving out the presents for my friends and Family b/c I know for a hardcore FACT that they'll scream, pee their pants a little, and love me forevah! :D. Though, I still have a few important ones, that I should get to work on with their presents, but I dunno what to get them! :/ and I can't just ask. thats not sneaky.

I really wish my web cam could work so then I'd make little fun videos of myself instead of typing all of this shit out. It would be a whole lot easier if I just said it and not used my fingers. I also thought about going up for Thanksgiving/Christmas/and New Years up on the Collins hill one day in my life. I always wonder what my other half of my family does.. B/c I see Johnny and his family and they're ALWAYS together. They don't even miss out on the ex-wives and ex-husbands. They come too! lol. I love it.

Last two finals tomorrow!! hip hip poo-ray! Then Luis and I shall Partay like its 2009, and I will pretend I'm 21 and drink like a crazy person. lol. Cant wait.
Later Shmoes.

My Future...

It all started out when mom and I were going over to Erin's house...Sitting with mommy alone always brings up serious subjects..
Anyway... We started talking about how Erin was trying to make a life for her and Brett by buying a house, but then that idea has been stepped on since Brett's brother Chad and his friend Mike are living in the house too. Which got me thinking about my own future...
I confessed to mom, I would LOVE to get married, have children, and live the happy family life. Taking my kids to soccer and ballet practice. But I told mom that Johnny has already expressed his ideas on getting married (which for him is not going to happen) along with having children.
Which puts me into a bind, b/c I really do like him, but like what mom said, hes pulling me back.

"Don't you want to see the world? Live life as it comes to you?" Mom asked....

If I stay with Johnny till I'm in my late 20s...then I know! my life will be meaningless.
I thought about guys I already know that might seem great for me... (b/c I'm lazy and scared to meet new people)
Mom suggested Phillip, but I told her that it might be hard for us being really silly best friends and turn sexual and serious in the bedroom.. lol. (sorry phill)
Then I thought about this other guy (which I will not be saying his name.. in case he reads this) And he's sweet, generous, filled with compliments, smart, caring, sensitive towards feelings, and I think he likes my Bambi....He's like the perfect man to marry....
The only problem is that he lives pretty far away. and how in the world could I get him to me, or the other way around.

I could be just thinking out of my butt and half awake saying these things. I'm scared to see the truth, how at some point in my life, I'll have to break up with Johnny and go on with my life. :/
Makes me wanna cry just thinking about it. *Sighs*
I don't wanna think about it anymore.....

How Disney is bad

In Speech class yesterday, I watched a documentary about how Disney movies are bad for your children to watch. Because they give them subliminal messages on how to live their life.

The Race issue...
All of these Scholars talked about (Lets take Black people)... Now the only black people are... well, there ARE no black people in Disney movies!!! But they do represent them through their voices., Like the Hyenas in the Lion King, Who are assistants to the bad guys... and the Monkeys in the Jungle Book where they really wanted to be like the white man... and... the black crows in Dumbo and they made them sly and pretty much making fun of the innocent. So! Disney makes black people the evil ones, pretty much.
Then there's the Latino race, and the only two times you see one is in the voice of a chihuahua. Tito from Oliver and Company was a dirty Mexican and loved the ones that hated them the most.. (that purdy Poodle) Then there's a little glimpse of a chihuahua in Lady and the Tramp, where they all sit in the dog catchers truck.. and the Mexican is all dirty once again, and in jail pretty much...
They also talked about how they reflected Asians.... Starting off with the two Siamese cats in Lady and the Tramp and they were sly, evil, mischievous, cunning.... makes children try not to trust them. Then you would think that Disney helped themselves out of this race hole when they created Mulan.... But no. Turns out that they pretty much made FUN of the Chinese culture with the geisha stuff that they put into it. None of that really happens in China anymore.. so it was bad.
AND last but not least in the Race Category..... The Arabs. In the beginning song of Aladdin, "Arabian Nights" was played and before the movie even came out, the music guy wrote two versions and guess which one Disney picked... the Racist one! lol. If you listen to the song it says, "I've come from a land, from a far away place. Where the Caravan Camels roam, where they cut off your ears if they don't life your face, its barbaric, but hey... its home."
Omg, that sturred up soooo much shit with people who actually lived in Agraba. They also got upset when Jasmin almost had her hand cut off for "stealing." Apparently that only happens in one little part and its also if you have been warned for like three or four times for stealing. >.<

THEN we have..... How they're teaching little girls to think.
In Beauty and the Beast... If you don't watch the movie and just think about it, the movie is just an abusive relationship. Belle getting her father taken away, while the beast is saying if she doesn't eat with me, then she doesn't eat at all.... and runs away, he yells at her all the time, but what does Disney call it? Just a grumpy temper... and has belle stay with him and be nice to him then eventually he'll turn into her prince. That doesn't happen in real life!!!!! you get beat and yelled at and the guy never gets better!!! >.< So basically its giving little girls hope that when they grow up and become in an abusive relationship, their man will be nice to her someday.
and with the french maid with the candle stick... She's saying "no no no" but Lumiere is making her WANT him and truly she means, "yes yes yes" very confusing tips to teach your little girls.


I coulg go on... but I have to bounce... I'll add on this later.

Brittany, my asssistant manager...

Alright so....
Now that I have been working with her more, I've gotten to the point of actually liking her, and hating my head manager. I mean, she has some good points and bad ones...
Bad ones:
She using her cell phone, and lets other people use their cell phone..
She cusses up a storm, usually when shes telling me something, but she does not realize that we are still working and people are walking around..
If a customer gives her attitude, she'll give it right back...
Constantly says, "Get it girl!"

Good ones:
I've realized she's been trying really hard to make the store look presentable.
Shes a lot more lenient when it comes to drinks... Like we can have our drinks behind the counter instead of in the back....where most of us never go.
And! she's cool about evil customers. Like she'd totally have our backs if a customer snapped at us, and we snapped right back at them.

Bambi's update...

Joe and I went to see Dr. MacDonald about Bambi's elbow, and from last wed... to this Monday, he got soo much worse.
Last week- 4.5lbs
Today- 3.9lbs Which is a VERY heavy drop for him since hes so small as it is. Any weight on him would be great.
Last week-limped every now and then...
Today- lifted it up the whole time.. He didn't even want to see his paw touch the floor.

Bottom line... it got super bad. SO the Dr. took one look at 1 out of 3 x-rays and was like, "Oh.. I see whats the problem" He points to this tiny black speck and asks, "you see that there?" yea....? "That's a small pocket next to Bambi's pin and its getting infected."

I felt so bad for Bambi. He said he could just put him on Antibiotics and make it go away, but with that pocket still there..... Its just going to pick up another infection, so he strongly suggested to just surgically remove the pins. Joe and I looked at each other, said yes, gave Bambi to them, and Joe got to pick him up later that day.

Dr. MacDonald called me when he JUST got out of Bambi's surgery, and said he was able to get the major pin that concerning him the most... (the one that was poking out of his arm and was able to feel under his skin) and when he tried to get the second one... he only got half of it out b/c of the end having a hook (for some stupid reason) But that pin wasn't much of his concern b/c it was really inside the bone, unlike the other one. Then said he should be able to be happy and dandy in the next 4 weeks at the most...
Joe brought him to my apartment, and we both saw that he was able to already! put weight on it, and it didn't even bother him. ^___^ I'm so glad that we're getting on the right track to healthy and happiness again. ^_^
When Bambi got home, he missed his toy seal and instantly went towards it with excitement.. then I quickly put his Grand mommy sweater on to calm him down.
Only bad thing is... Unlike his pain meds that he absolutely LOVES!!! He hates his antibiotic meds I have to give to him twice a day. So that'll be a fight in itself.

Bambi's problem....

I noticed, I guess Fri....no......Wednesday! that Bambi (did not have his pj's on) and he was still really calm. I thought, "that's weird.." so I moved my hand like usual, and he game me this look of some thing was wrong.
I called Joe and asked him about whenever I picked him up or moved him off of me, he would scream and just look at me.. he thought it was probably nothing or jumped off of the couch way too many times and pulled a muscle. Then when I picked him up again, I felt that his pin in his elbow was poking out again ( like in the beginning) I figured that this wasn't good and I guess I'll be seeing Dr. Cobb! ^_^ I like him, that entire clinic is full of nice friendly people that I've worked with before...

ANYWAY! I told Dr. Cobb Bambi's problems and then asked to take x-rays b/c... I haven't even done them to begin with. (Even though I should have done them a couple months ago after his surgery) He showed me the pins in his bone... and pointed out that the pin was curved at the end... like its hit something and bent.. (ugh it was sooo sad to look at) And he showed me another picture where the pins accidentally moved and his now forcing his radius and ulna to turn REALLY far outwards! So he called this pet orthopedic surgeon to do a consultation with me and see what he could do for my sweet Bambi. This guy is Dr. Cobb's best friend and he went to school with him, so he trusts this guy.... so I trust this guy.

I got a meeting set up Tuesday morning at 8...in McKinney. Joe is going with me and said it's about 40 min away from where I live, so that's not bad. He said it was on the other side of Dallas.

So that's the deleo with my Sweet Bambi....
after I told mom the sad news about him, we went out and bought him more sweaters and a parka for this upcoming winter weather. He loves it. ^_^ Pictures soon.

Phill had a best day ever, I had a worst day ever..

It started with me going to work at 9 in the morning... I was up late, had about 6ish hours of sleep and quickly had to hop in the shower. I felt sooo tired, I kinda just wanted to sleep in the warm water and stay there.... but I didn't.
I got to work.... and realized I was working with Brittany, (The new black assistant manager... that hired me) Well before, a lot of the other workers told me they HATED working with her, and I never saw anything truly wrong with her... That was until I DID have to work with her today.
Omg! She was soooo unprofessional!
I mean, she told me before the store opened that her pants might fall down every once and a while and show her 6 inch butt crack! I thought to myself, "If she has pants issues, why would you not wear a belt?!?!" well... her ass was showing pretty much the entire time, so she'd be walking up to people with a smile and her ass out, "Is there anything I can help you with?" and of course they'd all say no, b/c they could have just wanted her to go away. B/c I would ask them, and they'd ask me all SORTS of questions! And she's Extremely!!!!! loud and cussing up a storm.. WHILE! I was checking people out! Like there was this lady and her mother and wanted to do something difficult with their stuff that they just bought... well Brittany took care of them, and then walked over to me and said... (right in front of everyone!) "Geeze... Those women were ridiculous and bitchy."
O.O omg, my face turned white and I slowly looked up at the lady I was checking out and she was just starring at her with this evil look... b/c if I was probably that customer, I would SOOO do the same thing. I mean, you're not suppose to be bashing customers after they leave?!
Then... what else.... She said I would have been opening boxes of shipments, but with us being so busy.. I had to stay up front the whole time and then restored our clothes that people just threw! all over the place.
And every other sentence that came out of Brittany's mouth was, "Get it Gurl!" -____-
Ugh, I would have shot her in the face.
I want to tell Sarah the amazing sweet head manager, but I'm not sure what to say about her first! I just hope I don't work with Brittany a lot... b/c I don't think I can handle the embarrassment of her being my manager!!!

Now.... that was only this morning. I did go to the cheesecake factory for the first time ever with johnny, and I loved it... I had to get Bambi from mommy's house and when I drove up, of course soo much drama with gummer and Joe, I shrugged it off and started driving home. I was in the turning lane on 720, with Bambi sleeping in my lap, talking to Joe on the phone, and everything was normal. I look up in my mirror and see this Big burgundy SUV going WAAAAYYYYY!!!!! to fast up behind me. I yelled, "Oh my GoD!" in the phone, then BAM! she hit me, then I hit the lady in front of me.....and the impact shook Bambi in my arms ( I protected him.. ^_^) knocked the sunglasses off my face, and threw the phone out of my hand b/c I grabbed the wheel and Bambi. *sighs* and all I could think of was, "God Dammit.... I just fixed my car!!!" then when we were sitting there, Johnny said the exact same thing. lol. I looked at the damage, and to fix it... the front stuff needs to be replaced (again...) and the back bumper has a big fist of a dent there... so either pop it out, or just get a new one...
So I got the lady's information and the lady I ran into as well, and drove back to mom's house to show her my newly fixed car. She kinda chuckled and was glad that I was okay... Johnny (not wearing a seat belt) only got a few hair burns from the top of my car and that's it... and the airbag light was on.....so you would think it was suppose to deploy with THAT kind of impact, but it didn't. SO, tomorrow, Mom and I will be going to the dealership to show them and maybe get a new one... but I dunno. we'll see.



So that is my worst day ever..... and probably more to come. -__- Until next time with Bambi's leg problem stories..

What I think about the election

Ooooookay...

When I saw him and his family walk out on the stage to make their little moving speech, I felt so afraid on something happening to them. Their happy family faces, hugs and kisses, then I figured "Bang!" someone would have shot his whole family down...
Then I realized he was doing his speech in Chicago, so I felt more content for him. ^__^
*listening to his speech*
His lips always seemed purple to me....."on this day, on this moment, change has come"
His voice and the way he shows himself to America makes me feel so safe and happy to be living here. And I think its cute how he told his girls that they've earned their new puppy that will be going with them to the white house.
"I will never forget how this victory does not belong to me, it belongs to you."
YES WE CAN!!!
Hes a hard worker, and that's why I think he'll be a great president. He won't just sit there and watch others make things happen (like Republicans do)...... He will pick his own damn cotton if he has to!!...(figuratively speaking)
Anne Nixson being 106! and that old lady in Atlanta seeing everything since the slavery times... and going through not being able to vote b/c she was a woman AND she was black... well, she voted and now got to see change.. I love it.
Me being in this time... watching history in the making!! It gives me such great happiness, to tell my children and grandchildren and their children maybe... to tell them, I was there. I was there when America changed gears and achieved things no one thought we could do. AMEN TO OBAMA!!! I love his speeches. There will be soooo many adorable children living in the white house! I'm excited to see them grow up.

Now!!! time to bash McCain...
when he made his "losing" speech, he seemed supportive to Obama, BUT!! he still tried to bash him on how he'll suck being presitdent.. and of course his crowd agreed and cheered. And when McCain said something nice, the crowd booed. >.< I hate him.

I argued with a guy a work about how he was totally for McCain, and I was for Obama.... I can't wait to go to work and see how he feels now! Hah!
And I told Erin that even though I didn't vote... my imaginary vote sure paid off, since my vote became true and now he's our president. ^__^ hooray!

my first one... in a while

I used to blog when I was dating David.... and... I thought it was dumb, b/c all I talked about was him. boo.
This time!!!

I think I'll be talking about Bambi, my work stories, school, and possibly in the back of my mind ideas. That probably don't mean anything. And maybe every now and then I'll say something about how either weird or super sweet Johnny is..(but not always.) maybe put some friend dilemmas and drama too in this thing...for advice purposes.


oh... speaking of news... I just heard Liz F. is pregnant and will be having a boy in March. How crazy is that.

Anyway!!!
I'm tired from working today...my back hurts and arms too, but my feet don't hurt b/c I was "gellin" ^__^
Bambi keeps eating my shoes now... especially my slippers.
and I just bought a lot of work clothes today... (thanks Phillip for the Gift card... that really helped.)


Maybe I'll put some video blogs just for entertainment every now and then as well.